Newsweek ha scelto Steve Jobs come personaggio più influente del decennio che sta per concludersi. E al di la della nomina, che lascia il tempo che trova (non perché non sia d’accordo ma perché ogni giornale americano sta nominando il suo personaggio più influente del decennio e alla fine salterà fuori che più o meno tutti sono i personaggi più influenti del decennio), il breve “articolo” pubblicato dalla rivista per annunciare la decisione è bello perché consiste in una dichiarazione rilasciata dal Fake Steve Jobs, ovvero da Dan Lyons, che come sempre si distingue per il suo umorismo e per la capacità di accentuare e portare all’eccesso tutti quei tratti del carattere di Jobs che lui tenta di velare e nascondere in pubblico. Insomma, ecco come il nostro finto Jobs ha reagito alla notizia:

First of all, thanks for singling me out as the one human being who has done more than anyone else to shape life on our planet over the past decade. I definitely deserve it. I’ve done many amazing things in the last 10 years, but I think the best single thing I’ve done is to get people to stop thinking about computers and the Internet as weird, complicated things for techies. Thanks to me, computers and the Web are omnipresent in our lives and easy to use. You no longer “go online”—you’re always online. And you’re no longer chained to a clunky box while using the Web. Instead, you have a skinny glass-and-metal slice of magic called the iPhone. (Unless you use a BlackBerry or a Palm Pre, in which case I will pray for your soul.) Of course, I’ve also dramatically changed the music industry. Music used to be sold in quaint little places called “music stores,” shipped on discs, and controlled by record labels. Now it’s sold by a software company (Apple), shipped as digital bits, and controlled by me. Movies are headed that way, too, and soon I’ll be running that business as well. Publishing: you’re next. In our brave new world, whoever controls the devices and the distribution is king. That’s why millions of fanboys see me not as a mere CEO, but as a Silicon Jesus who has come to Earth to restore a sense of childlike wonder to their lives. I can’t say I disagree.